When we get out of the glass bottle of our ego and when we escape like the squirrels in the cage of our personality and get into the forest again, we shall shiver with cold and fright. But things will happen to us so that we don’t know ourselves. Cool, unlying life will rush in.

– D. H. Lawrence

 

Occasionally things occur which remind me of how much life has changed me; how living in a different country and surrendering my sense of belonging to the ether has altered my vision of the world.  The feeling of being altered is generally strongest among my own compatriots and cultural background where I can observe variations with the greatest degree of contrast.

 

 

 It has lead me to believe (please feel free to argue with me if you disagree) that travel* is one of the most startling catalyst for transformation in the human mind outside of the conscientious pursuit of faith.

 

 

*By travel I don’t mean trekking round the world in a gap year or going for a week in an all-inclusive holiday resort in Sharm el-Sheikh. I am referring to going somewhere new with your eyes wide and ego dampened. Of course you may do just that trekking around the world in a gap year or in an all-inclusive holiday resort in Sharm el-Sheikh. But you can also experience it in your own town or the one down the road. Fundamentally becoming well-travelled is far more about cultivating a sense of curiosity without the self-rightness we construct like defences against change to our well laid patterns of thinking.

 

 

Travel is a mysterious thing: it can encourage humility and insight or it can reinforce prejudice and nurture pride. There are some much “adventured” people I know who remain un-humbled by what they have seen and done but instead believe that they have seen everything in the world and can make absolutist statements on any topic of conversation.

 

Proust said:  The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes; in seeing the universe through the eyes of another, one hundred others - in seeing the hundred universes that each of them sees.

 

The world would be a much better place if people allowed themselves to be awake to the differences in the minutiae of other people’s human experience.

 

Its nearly time that I return to my native soil so for the next few weeks while I "travel" I will be away from posting here and keeping my eyes wide to the wonders of the earth around me.

 

x Jo

Easter Monday To-Do List and BIG Plans

tea, iron, sew, tea, chocolate, knit, tea, cook, draw and did I mention tea?

That's it pretty much. Its been fairly manic around here so I'm looking forward to a day of pleasure; except for that big iron in the top-left which is not my favorite chore but when your husband decides the wardrobe and drawers must be malfunctioning... needs must.

The knitting is a jumper I'm making for E. The pattern is from the March 2011 copy of Lets Knit (not a magazine I usually buy but the pattern is sooooo delicious!).  It has lovely little knots (the photo isn't as clear as I would have liked) which give the fabric a beautiful texture and grain. And the yarn really is quite special. It is Sirdar Crofter DK in Granary 57. It knits up with a beautiful fair-isle style finish which looks more clear on smaller items than this. I've had so many people comment on it as I knit! I'm thrilled with the finish- a light summer weight with a lovely stitch definition. I will try to remember to post a final picture when I finish.

 I've let the cat out of the bag properly on Facebook now so I guess I can safely say that our plans are to move to the USA.  M has a greencard application pending which we have to wait for the next step. Our house is under offer and on the verge of exchange of contracts. So we are going to move a lot closer to M's work until we are within a couple months of emigrating, then we will (thanks to the very generous and gracious kindness of my in laws) live with M's parents until we have a set moving date.  At present it looks to be early 2013 God willing.

I can't wait. Literally cannot wait. I want to be able to go down the road and knock on a door and find myself a home where I know I will be welcome and loved. Where there is no tension or fear of judgement. I want to be able to talk about my family and loved ones with other people who know and love them too. I've missed so many years of being with them all I know going home now will be very different and nothing will bring my Mom or brother back but I can make the most of those moments I have left with the rest of the people I hold dear. This year can't go quickly enough for me.

X Jo

Remembering

Paul Ray Downs- 1981

I have with a heavy heart been in America to say farewell to my loving, kind and generous brother Paul.

 Though we have lived 5000 miles apart for 15 years I knew when we spoke (or on the rare occasions when I got out to the states to visit) it would be like we never had been away.

It was astonishing to see the number of people who came to his funeral. He had a knack of making everyone he met feel at ease, listened to and accepted. He talked to complete strangers and never judged them by the way they looked, lived or spoke.

Matt the girls and I had the great pleasure of spending time with our family and Paul's for almost a month.  It was so wonderful to be together.  My sister-in-law and niece and nephew are stunningly special. And the truth about funerals is that the time you spend mourning with other people who knew your loved one is sweet despite the sorrow: reliving memories, listening to other's memories and celebrating a life lost.

In our time there we finally found a moment to sort though boxes of my Mom's things which were stored in Paul's basement since she died in '06. In them we found so many wonderful memories and treasures! Including over 300 photographic slides dating from the 60's to the 80's. I was determined to get these photos to a usable condition and after much trawling and searching I narrowed down my choices to a small (1/2 lb loaf size) digital camera box which allows you to make digital copies of negatives and slides. There were many many options but based on my research and customer reviews we chose this one.

The results have exceeded my wildest expectations! The photos capture all the charm of the slides with a clarity that blows my mind away. The greatest pleasure comes from seeing the faces I've loved and lost suddenly showing new expressions.  It is the the most precious gift I could have recieved.

X

Selling my soul

This could be the most terrifying thing I've ever done: it does feel like I've just put my soul up for the whole world to gaze on and judge. So **gulp** go visit my Esty shop, I'm not sure if I care if anything sells, I just hope nobody goes "Oh would you look at that rubbish!"
Here goes. . . SOUL FOR SALE! ! !

On another subject: I am finally getting a few projects finished at last. And my beautiful lamp which once was rather boring and plain is now a smorgasbord of buttony goodness! !

I had seen this on a lamp where they had used just the metal frame of the shade and had the light through strung/wired (?) buttons. However the light in our lamp is something like 6 gazillion candle power and will fry your eyeballs if it hits you right on so I decided to sew the buttons to the shade. With the light off it looks like I like: kinda grungy and handmade-ish but in the evening it turns into the star of our living room. Buttons which previously looked normal turn into the most stunning visual feast.I didn’t use any special bits, I purposely used buttons I was going to donate to a charity shop because they were so very ordinary.
yum yum yum yum!
For any who might be interested we are planning a trip WEST!! It is going to happen in 2012 it is just a matter of when the tickets aren't going to be totally out of proportion due to the Olympics being a couple of hours away from our house. Okay must stop before I hyperventilate with excitement.